When a servicemember is deployed, his or her family members experience many different emotions. Deployment is especially difficult for children, as they will be faced with feelings they likely do not understand. AFBA has compiled five tips to assist you in helping your children cope with deployment.
1. Establish a routine
By bringing back an established pattern into your children's lives, you can help alleviate some of the stress that they are already experiencing. Having a parent leave for service can be a confusing time. A routine will give your children some sense of control and regularity. Try to stick to the same bedtimes and wake-ups if possible. You can also give your children daily chores to keep them busy and on-task. While routines may seem tedious, they can be a lifeline for children coping with a major life change like deployment.
2. Open lines of communication
The deployment of a parent may inspire some strong emotions in your children. It is important to let them know early on that you are available to talk about these feelings. You should also share your own emotions with them, so they realize that they are not going through the experience alone. Your chats do not have to be formal or scheduled. Just check up on them from time to time or ask them how they are feeling over dinner.
3. Allow for emotional outlets
One of the worst things you can do for your children during their parent's deployment is chastise them for expressing their emotions. This does not mean you should allow them to throw tantrums to get rid of their anger. Instead, you should help them find healthy ways to deal with their reactions to missing their parent. Buy your children journals and encourage them to write or draw what they are feeling.
4. Put them in a peer group
There will be times when your children do not want to discuss things with you. Instead of getting frustrated with them, understand that this is normal. Give them the chance to communicate with their peers who may be experiencing the same thing. There are a number of summer camps and activity programs designed specifically for children of military personnel. Your children may find strength and support by surrounding themselves with other children whose parents are also deployed.
5. Work through it together
It is important to let your children know that they are not alone in missing their mother or father. Deployment is a time you should help one another through. You can make your children feel important by explaining to them that you will need extra assistance around the house now that you are without your spouse. Additionally, there are a variety of activities designed to bring you closer, even during a tough time like deployment.
There are a wide range of emotions your children may experience during their parent's deployment. Your children may be unable to cope with all of these feelings on their own. That is why AFBA outlined some helpful ways for you to make sure your kids can work through these emotions in a healthy way.