On average, military families move once every three years. This can be stressful on the adults in a military family, but it can be even more difficult for military children. Kids need stability, and military life does not always allow for that. There are ways to reduce the stress and difficulties you put your kids through during your next transfer.
Communicate with them
Kids ask a lot of questions, but that is only because they want to understand the world around them. By communicating the possibility of a move as soon as you know there is a chance for one, you reduce the shock factor. You should also have an open dialogue regarding the move. Listening to your kids' questions and complaints about the move may be the last thing you want to do as you prepare, but try to be patient. The more you talk with them about it, the easier it will be on everyone involved.
Prepare them
Military transfer can happen relatively quickly, so you may not have much time to prepare your children for the move. If you have time, give them a taste of where they will be living. Show them pictures of the new base and the new city online and discuss things to do in the area. Try to give them enough time to say goodbye to their friends and make a few last-minute memories in their favorite hangouts. If you are moving to a foreign country, help them learn and practice the language as much as possible beforehand so they do not feel isolated upon arrival.
Support them
Remember that your kids are leaving behind the familiar, and they do not have a choice about it. If they seem angry or rebel against the move, respond with understanding. This can be difficult during a stressful move, but letting your children know that their feelings are valid can help them accept it easier. Military Youth on the Move is a helpful website that offers more advice and activities to help your children come to terms with relocation.
Put them first
You may have the urge to get rid of a lot of items before your move, but if possible, try to avoid getting rid of a bunch of your children's items. This can add to the sense of loss they are experiencing. Additionally, when you get to your new location, set up your kids' rooms before the other nonessential rooms in the house. This way they begin to feel at home in their new environment quicker. If they want to explore the new base, go with them and help them feel out their new setting. Even if you are still tired and stressed from the move, understand that your child has just experienced the same thing. Help them find ways to implement their old routines into their new life.
Moving is difficult for any family, but military families experience these stresses more often than most. Follow the advice above to help make these frequent moves easier on the children in your family.