Deployment can be very challenging for couples. It may be the first time you have ever been separated for a long period, while the risks involved in active duty service may also stress you out if you are not actively working to remain positive. The process is a journey that should be handled carefully with support.
Whether your spouse is currently deployed or is going to be soon, take note of these tips to make sure that you are mentally prepared when the time comes.
1. Realize communication may be hard
Although it is a difficult realization to get used to, it is always best to be realistic and accept that communication is going to be challenging during deployment. According to Military Spouse, while it can be tempting to tell yourself that you will talk for as long as you want every day, it is important to remember that servicemembers have to prioritize the demands placed on them during active service. Your spouse may not have the opportunity to talk on the phone or video chat when you planned to.
Prepare for this by performing tasks like writing down all of the moments or events that you want to share with your loved one when time allows. Active duty servicemembers should feel that things at home are going smoothly so that they can focus on their missions. Letting your husband or wife know that you are coping well during days without communication will be reassuring.
2. Familiarize yourself with the facts
Before and during your spouse's departure, take some time to educate yourself on where your loved one will be deployed and what his or her specific role requires. This will allow you to have a better understanding of what your spouse is doing every day and the experiences he or she may face.
You will probably have a lot to tell your spouse on the phone, such as how the children are doing in school and how his or her friends are. However, knowing a little about your loved one's whereabouts and duties can provide you with specific questions to ask so he or she has an opportunity to share experiences with someone who is familiar with his or her role.
3. Seek out support
Getting through a deployment on your own can seem impossible at times. Use the love and support of family members and friends to stay strong and positive. Join a local group, such as a running or book club, with your friends to keep busy during the day if you do not have a job. Doing something that interests you every day will help you maintain an optimistic outlook when times are tough.
Spending time with fellow military spouses is another good idea. If you live on base, there may even be a support group where you can meet other men and women also trying to get through deployment. Talking to people who are experiencing similar emotions and challenges can be comforting and give you the strength you need.
4. Stay connected
You may not be able to communicate with your loved one as much as you would like to, but you can still stay connected. For example, TwoOfUs.org explained that sending frequent care packages that contain your spouse's favorite food, pictures, videos and handwritten notes will ensure that you are sending your love when you can. You can also get creative and focus on the future with gifts like "coupons" that award your spouse with something during life after service, such as a hug from one of your children or a romantic dinner with his or her favorite meal.