Starting a family is an exciting time in life. It is not without its stresses, though. These can be more difficult when you are deployed. There are ways to be a part of this monumental time even when you are halfway across the world.
Prepare
You and your spouse should prepare emotionally for the fact that you may not make it back in time for the delivery. Even if you believe that you will be able to return for the birth of your child, prepare for the unpredictable. Have a backup plan to be Skyped into the delivery room should something arise that prevents your return home. Before you deploy, assist your spouse with enrollment in military mother support groups and classes. Decide on a doctor and schedule as many future appointments together as you can. You and your spouse can tentatively plan a time to talk each week to discuss the pregnancy.
Communicate
As with most things in a relationship, communication is key. Call as frequently as is convenient for you and your spouse. Make the most of these phone calls by inquiring about doctor's appointments, developments with the pregnancy and difficulties your spouse may be having. It is important for you to be there for your spouse emotionally even if you cannot be there physically. You should also communicate your worries or excitement, too. Pregnancy puts a strain on ordinary marriages. For military couples, it is especially trying, but by maintaining good lines of communication you can help each other through the difficulties.
Share
Pregnancy is not all stress and worry. It should involve excitement and joy, as well. When you speak, swap baby name ideas and nursery decorating plans. Dial in on a video call when your spouse goes baby clothes shopping so you can give your input on what your little boy or girl will be wearing. Don't be afraid to ask for monthly belly pictures and ultrasound videos. You should want to see how your future son or daughter is growing and how your spouse is changing along the way. Ask your spouse what she is craving at different times during the pregnancy and coordinate with friends and family back home to make sure she has plenty of pickles, peanut butter and whatever else she may enjoy at the time. When you are feeling homesick for your growing family, it can be helpful to find other members of your unit who are expecting a child and share your experiences.
Track
Before you deploy, download a pregnancy tracker app. This way, if you reach a point in your deployment when communication with your spouse may be limited, you will always have an idea what is going on. If you have enough time before you ship out, it would also be nice to plan surprise packages that coincide with the different stages of pregnancy and arrange for them to be delivered monthly to your spouse.
You are preparing to take on two of life's greatest roles: soldier and parent. It can be difficult to be so far away from your family during this important time in your life, but the suggestions listed above should help you stay involved with your spouse's pregnancy while you are deployed.